Seeing The World Through A Dirty Lens

If you ever find yourself hating another person for no reason or find a reason to, whether they did actually wrong you or not, whether you know them or not, whether it’s the first interaction or not, you still don’t love yourself enough.
It’s such a deep and profound truth. I have actually been struggling with this and it has become even clearer of late. I had an instance in my work place where I thought some people didn’t like me and i started having this wave of resentment against them and then over the weekend I ran out of a room while meeting my boyfriends friends just because I felt that same way (I still feel ashamed saying it, I ended up hurting a few people including my boyfriend). It was terrible.

Anais Nin once said,
“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are”
How we see things reflects who we are inside and if we see the world through hate whether it’s of another person, thing etc just shows that we don’t love ourselves enough. Coz when you love yourself completely everything else transcends into beauty and every good becomes a magnet and there’s just this flow and burst of energy and love for people and the world and you kinda want to make everything better as you go, whether it’s your interactions with people or the environment and so on.

It’s funny because I studied Psychology for four years and am only discovering this right now. Even though some of this things are spiritual.
I just find this fascinating. It’s 4am here, but I felt the need to write this down.

When I was coming to New Zealand i had a stopover in China, and I had a traumatising experience (from a black person perspective) A lot of things went down that left me shaking even  today. I will write an article about this someday but to sum it up, I ended up having this hate against Chinese people,  I could not stand them on the plane to New Zealand and when I arrived here. I had two choices,  hate them and live in this misery for a while or find a place in my heart to forgive the situation and the people that treated badly.

At first, I chose misery. It’s been hell carrying all this hate in my heart but after the realisation I had yesterday I just want to go back to such situations and forgive myself and the people involved.

For some reason,  when you start seeing things from a place of love,  everything starts shifting with bliss. It makes you realize that the mind can be such a liar sometimes.

But the thing is, culture (we are constantly taught to hate who we are ) plays a huge role in how we love ourselves and so does parental love.  Its worse if you experience divorce as a child. I did and coming to love every part of me has been a huge struggle but it is possible!

If you can, please share this. Someone might find healing by reading this.

I leave you with a quote from one of my favourite writers:

Find ecstasy within yourself. It is not out there. It is in your innermost flowering. The one you are looking for is you.

– Osho

  1. Jennifer says

    Good job!

  2. Lawrence says

    Deep. Beautiful. True.

    1. This African Girl says

      Thank you ?

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